Dating after divorce with a baby
Don’t be surprised if your children reject your new partner at first.
For example, Caroline, a 36-year-old teacher, described her new partner Kevin as thoughtful, affectionate, and a great match for her.They had been dating for a little over two months and she was head over heels in love with him.But she began questioning their relationship when her daughter Baylie, age eight, starting complaining about Kevin coming over – especially when his nine-year-old son, Ryan, came along for the visit.Truth be told, younger children (under age 10) may feel confused, angry, or sad because they tend to be possessive of their parents.Renowned researcher Constance Ahrons, who conducted a 20-year study of children of divorce, concluded that most children find their parent’s courtship behaviors confusing and strange.Rather than planning a long visit, it’s best to have a brief, casual meeting with few expectations.
Another important consideration when introducing your kids to a new love interest is their age.
Do you want your teenager to model their behavior after you?
If so, you owe it to yourself and your kids to build new relationships thoughtfully.
Adopt realistic expectations about your children’s acceptance of your new partner.
Just because you are enthralled with this person, it doesn’t mean that your kids will share your enthusiasm.
She didn’t understand why Baylie didn’t share her enthusiasm for Kevin because he was so perfect for their family.